Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I'm just sayin'

Today I went to the bank drive thru and because of the freezing wind chill, my window was frozen shut so I had to pull up a bit and open my door to use the ....the sucky thing that takes your bag. (what the heck is that thing called anyway? vacuum tube receptacle holder Uncle Joe tells me.) Any way I had a full view of the tellers processing my transaction.

I was watching in horror as the teller that counted my deposit kept moistening her fingers on her bottom lip. She didn't lick her finger/thumb like most people, but kept flipping her bottom lip to touch the inside of her lip. I was mesmerized and grossed out at the same time. It looked silly!

Doesn't she know that money is filthy!? Doesn't she know there are horrible germs and dirt on money? Doesn't she know that I don't want her spittle on MY money?? Doesn't she know they make "SortKwik"?

I am sure there had to be some there so why didn't she partake of the SortKwik? Was there some shortage? A SortKwik coup?

How can I annonymously give her some? I would be on tape if I drive through. Maybe I could mail her some.
I think this is one of my pet peeves don't you?? Maybe I am just spit sensitive after working the front desk of a medical facility. I have to touch drivers licenses and insurance cards that people have licked their fingers to get out of their wallet. I grab them on the sides. (and keep the hand sanitizer close by) I have ingested more germs hurled at me via an unprotected cough or sigh than I even want to think about.

I think I need a long hot... very hot shower now, and some Listerine.


  1. i am glad to hear that the drive-thru bank is still kickin on over there. they had a trial stint here in the early 90's, but it was pretty much a flop.
    we now have these fancy machines called an atm (automatic teller machine). you put a special card in it, enter a secret code number, and then you can do all sorts of things, - withdraw money (if you have any), make a deposit, get a balance on your account etc. they are a good invention.

    also our money is plastic now, so its pretty grippy.

    also also, if i was struggling to count money, it would most probably be because my hands were dry and rough.

    .....enter susu's salty scrub.....

  2. Now you're talking....er scrubbing!

  3. Sucky thing! LOL Ew-ew and EW about that teller! I need some Listerine just reading that--or a bath in alcohol.

  4. Oh yea, the licking of the fingers combined with money counting is gross. That bottom lip thing is bizarre. Maybe she thought it was somehow more hygienic? Like germs on the bottom lip can't survive. Sortkwik is our friend.

  5. I used SO much Sortkwik when I was banking. We called it the technically correct name of "finger goo".

    I really liked banking germs:

    Really old homeless dude dripping snot on his withdrawal slip and counter on raisin day (yes, we were very unPC saying that about the third, day of SSI and SSDI deposits)

    Dude who was FLOSSING with his check. I've heard of eating up your paycheck but...ew.

    Strippers bringing in scads of ones, fives and tens pulled from various nether regions and crevasses. Double ew.

    Crack head pulling out his wad of dough in 100s that was still rolled up tight to deposit in his daughter's savings account. Oh, boy.

    Dude in line, touching his brain through his nasal cavity and then asking me to take his handful of change.

    Next to my sortkwik was purell hand sanitizer. I'm SO with you, chicka.

  6. She probably gets really sick every winter and has no idea why!


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