Sunday, April 20, 2008

A Question from Down Under

A new visitor from Oz has asked the question: Have you ever been lonely?

Over the years I have found myself mostly surrounded with people. I grew up in a family of 5 and was always with either my parents, my brothers or several of my gazillion cousins. (My mother comes from a family of 11 children, so that is a LOT of cousins!) I went to college, always in a herd of girls. I met and married Joe when I was 22/23 respectively and we had our first daughter with in a year and a half. Carly and I have been attached at the hip from birth and when we shop we are attached at the elbow. :o) Cassidy came along 5 years later and has been rockin' our world since. My job has consisted of greeting and talking to people either on the phone or in person for 8 hours a day for almost 20 years.
All this to say you would think I would NOT have ever been lonely. I remember once a few years ago we were at a church picinic. Uncle Joe was visting with his friend, Carly and Cassi were playing with their friends and I stood there looking around wondering where I fit in. I sat down and looked around again. I did not seek any one out, purposely waiting for someone to see me. They never did.

I am never lonely at home. There is always something going on with one of the girls to keep me occupied. I would like to have neighbors to visit and fellowship with, but right now we have a family that is moving away, a retired couple and a young man and his friends. I know I should be more assertive and approach these people, but that is a little difficult for me, something I purpose to work on. Summertime vegetables from the garden or some homemade cookies should make it easier don'tcha think?

I do like time that I control. I sometimes feel overwhelmed and like that my time is not my own. I sometimes have to assert my will and take time for myself. One of the most liberating times was at Christmas. I went to Tulsa(a city about 50 miles away) on a solo-shopping trip. I drove all over town by myself , shopped by myself, had lunch in a crowded restaurant by myself and generally had a ball! I plan to make that an annual event and maybe even throw in a solo over night stay next time!

In my life I think that lonliness comes when I am listening to the lies of the enemy. I am surrounded by people that love me and care about me. They do not have to seek me out, sometimes I have to be the seeker. I have to destroy my own lonliness by picking up the phone or driving across town and sometimes just reaching across the bed.


  1. Aunty Jo,

    You have posted a very well thought out response to Dave's question. I am giving my own answer some thought, and will try to post or make a comment, or get it out there somehow later.

    I think you've found in your life, the secret to keeping the loneliness bugaboo away: Keeping busy, and doing for others. Too much self-absorption, time weighing heavily on one's hands, and staring at the four walls all alone, makes for loneliness. And I agree, caring for our children, we can never be lonely while doing that...


  2. That's so profound. And you;re so right about being surrounded by people who love and respect us. That's the key to life.

  3. Have you ever been mellow?
    Have you ever tried?

  4. Last time you reached across the bed you slapped me for snoring.
    I'll be waitin' fer ya this time Chickie!!!

  5. LOL @ Uncle Joe's could you ever be lonely with a partner like that! LOL!

  6. That was shocking at the church picnic when nobody spoke to you.
    I always try to find some one else who looks in a similar position & not some one who is the life & soul of the party!

    You sound as though you have mastered the art of not being lonely! Enjoyed your post!


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