Sunday, April 20, 2008

A Question from Down Under

A new visitor from Oz has asked the question: Have you ever been lonely?

Over the years I have found myself mostly surrounded with people. I grew up in a family of 5 and was always with either my parents, my brothers or several of my gazillion cousins. (My mother comes from a family of 11 children, so that is a LOT of cousins!) I went to college, always in a herd of girls. I met and married Joe when I was 22/23 respectively and we had our first daughter with in a year and a half. Carly and I have been attached at the hip from birth and when we shop we are attached at the elbow. :o) Cassidy came along 5 years later and has been rockin' our world since. My job has consisted of greeting and talking to people either on the phone or in person for 8 hours a day for almost 20 years.
All this to say you would think I would NOT have ever been lonely. I remember once a few years ago we were at a church picinic. Uncle Joe was visting with his friend, Carly and Cassi were playing with their friends and I stood there looking around wondering where I fit in. I sat down and looked around again. I did not seek any one out, purposely waiting for someone to see me. They never did.

I am never lonely at home. There is always something going on with one of the girls to keep me occupied. I would like to have neighbors to visit and fellowship with, but right now we have a family that is moving away, a retired couple and a young man and his friends. I know I should be more assertive and approach these people, but that is a little difficult for me, something I purpose to work on. Summertime vegetables from the garden or some homemade cookies should make it easier don'tcha think?

I do like time that I control. I sometimes feel overwhelmed and like that my time is not my own. I sometimes have to assert my will and take time for myself. One of the most liberating times was at Christmas. I went to Tulsa(a city about 50 miles away) on a solo-shopping trip. I drove all over town by myself , shopped by myself, had lunch in a crowded restaurant by myself and generally had a ball! I plan to make that an annual event and maybe even throw in a solo over night stay next time!

In my life I think that lonliness comes when I am listening to the lies of the enemy. I am surrounded by people that love me and care about me. They do not have to seek me out, sometimes I have to be the seeker. I have to destroy my own lonliness by picking up the phone or driving across town and sometimes just reaching across the bed.

6 comments:

  1. Aunty Jo,

    You have posted a very well thought out response to Dave's question. I am giving my own answer some thought, and will try to post or make a comment, or get it out there somehow later.

    I think you've found in your life, the secret to keeping the loneliness bugaboo away: Keeping busy, and doing for others. Too much self-absorption, time weighing heavily on one's hands, and staring at the four walls all alone, makes for loneliness. And I agree, caring for our children, we can never be lonely while doing that...

    Regards,
    Lavinia

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  2. That's so profound. And you;re so right about being surrounded by people who love and respect us. That's the key to life.

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  3. Have you ever been mellow?
    Have you ever tried?

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  4. Last time you reached across the bed you slapped me for snoring.
    I'll be waitin' fer ya this time Chickie!!!

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  5. LOL @ Uncle Joe's comment.......how could you ever be lonely with a partner like that! LOL!

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  6. That was shocking at the church picnic when nobody spoke to you.
    I always try to find some one else who looks in a similar position & not some one who is the life & soul of the party!

    You sound as though you have mastered the art of not being lonely! Enjoyed your post!

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