Things I Would Love to Say at Work But Shouldn't

I can see your point, but I still think you are full of flarkey.

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it is hard to pronounce.

How about NEVER!? Is never good for you??

I see you have set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. (there was a woman who came in the office in her bathrobe today. she was not a patient...she brought someone in. c'mon now, how hard is it to grab a bra and teeshirt? she had pants on and a bathrobe!)

I am really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I am out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...........beeeeeep!

It sounds like English, but I don't understand a word you are saying to me.

You are validating my inherent distrust of strangers.
(wow this one is true....i can peg a liar, a druggie and a cheater within the first few minutes of checking them in.)

I am already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
(i may try this one on my children. i have it on good authority it works.)

I will always cheristh the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Thank you, We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view
(now go back to your room....)

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
(it actually means you are an idiot and you are weird)

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
(what color is the sky in your world?)

What am I ? Flypaper for FREAKS?
(no, but some of y'all are!)

I am not being rude, you are just insignificant.

DO I LOOK LIKE A PEOPLE PERSON?!
(actually I probably do.......)

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
(thank God!)

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer at no extra charge.

If I throw a stick will you leave?

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
( i have no response to this)

Nice perfume, must you marinate in it?
(one of our allergy shot patients comes in and has bathed in her cologne. we want to tell her that if she would lay off the cologne, she might not need the shots......and it isn't even something that smells good.....it smells like bug spray!)

Chaos, panic and disorder-my work here is done.
(I am SO good at confusing people.....it is a gift.)

How do I set a laser printer to stun?
(how about KILL!?)

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

(in all honesty, I really am thankful for my job and my co-workers......well some of them. the others are just annoying)

Disclaimer: I am not the author of these witty comments. The copy I have does not list an author.....and I plan on using some of these tomorrow. ;o)

Lookie what Emma did!

Blogger Arteests

The Art Show is up at Carly Jo's place.

Please go and take a look. What talented little bloggers you are!!! Thank you all for playing along. I love the diversity of the portraits and the diversity of the mediums! ;o)

Baby Steps

Today is my birthday!

I am a one year old Blogger.

Blogging has been so fun over the last year. I am amazed at how large the world is and how small it seems in the blogosphere. I have friends from all over the USA to Norway to Japan to Australia!!

Thank you all for sharing your lives with me and thank you for letting me share our little corner of the world with you. I consider you all friends, even though we may never share the same oxygen. :o)

I think it is funny, the posts that I think are witty and funny sometimes got very little if any traffic, then something that I thought would totally flop got lots of traffic and people thought it was hilarious. Go figga! We also talk about y'all like you are right next door, and you are your screen names and not your real names. It is difficult for me to call you by your real names!

I hope I get to meet some more of you in the future.

So where ever you are today, have a piece of chocolate or a sweet treat of your choice in honor of my Blogger Birthday!

The Cookie Hider

This week I went to the grocery and got an assortment of foods for Cassidy to take in her lunchbox. I hid the Little Debbie Crunches because she would sneak around and eat them all. I never said "I am hiding the cookies."

Yesterday when she saw me after work the first thing she said to me was, "Mom you sure did hide the cookies good!"

I guess she had been looking for them.

Self "portrait"

For CarlyFries:
As you may or may not know, I cannot draw well, but I do have "photoshop skills"

haha

Happy Anniversity Joe

Today, 13 short years ago I married my best friend.

Since that day my life has been filled with music and laughter almost every day. ;o)

We have had good times laughing at one another,mainly me..."Who has the Daddy?"
(if you need to hear the story behind that one, email Joe and I am SURE he will LOVE to tell you)

Sampling Joe's cuisine from Spam Muffins to Cheetoh Rolls to Salsa to Pepper Jelly to Pizza Sauce ala Uncle Joe.

Our life has been filled with
sniffles and snuggles
fights(not many) and make up's
repeated questions
rolling eyes
two little girls bringing us joy(and sometimes exasperation!)
gardens and guitars
coffee and conversation
scrabble and scraps (play-fights)
blogging and bloggers
books and movies
love and laughter

Thank you Joe for waiting for me, for keeping me and loving me.

Rock City

I just love this natural shot, don't you? I especially love the natural electric cord coming from the natrual rock formation don't you???

















Mushroom Rock. I thought we missed it until I was reviewing these pictures this week! haha!!
We were too busy planning crazy photo ops and trying to get the groups of people behind us to go on ahead. They wouldn't go so we employed them to take pictures of us.















This is totally how she looked. Honest. This is not a fake picture.






















This is Fat Man's Squeeze...right before I got the Yelling Fraidy Cat Man back for scaring the life out of me. ;o)















I couldn't believe my luck! I caught her just as she fell down. See? I told you it was the Gobhole Phenomenon! And look! She saved the camera!!! ( I guess she has fallen down enough she is a pro.)

For some reason this was a delayed reaction for me. I had to read it three times before I got it.

Why Terry Cloth Shorts Should Be Banned

This is the meanest thing I have ever done to a stranger.

Oh Lonesome Me

*Oh lonesome Me*

Uncle Joe, Carly and CassiJo have gone on a little trip with G-Mom for one last HooHa before school starts this week. (a hooha is Oklahoma talk for a fun trip) They went to Fort Smith Arkansas for a few days to west and wewax. They are staying in a hotel with an indoor pool....every kids delight.

That leaves me with a lot of free time.

I am not used to free time.

I have been a busy bee since I got off work about 6pm. I went to our old house and loaded down my car with stuff to bring over, watered the Cherokee Purple Tomatoes, almost had a heat stroke, got stopped by a 300 car train on the busiest street in Muskogee on the way to Staples for office supplies. I ran into one of my favorite cousins and had a good laugh in the parking lot talking about our kids. He has two boys and we of course have two girls....so we have lots to laugh at! We get so tickled at each other we are crying with laughter before we leave each other. (We are pretty close...our moms are twins!)

I got what I needed at Staples which included some buble' wrap to mail a surprise to someone, and some items from the sale rack. (did you think the link was going to reveal the recipient?haha!)

Dad called on my way home and we loaded up the computer desk he built for us this weekend. (All this and I still haven't made it home to change clothes and I am sweatin up a storm by now in my black pants and long sleeved shirt!)

I ate some yummy left over lasagna from Lunch with The Aukerman's and sat down at the computer for a game of Scrabble.

There we dirty dishes calling my name so I hushed them up and got them all nice and squeaky clean and put away in their homes, and even relocated a few to a nicer, more convenient neighborhood in my kitchen.

I chatted on the phone with her and her ,and now I am getting sleepy. I have had a very productive evening. I just hope I sleep well. Sometimes when I am alone, I don't sleep well, but tonight I think I have worn myself out.

I have been laughing at the cat, Charlie "White Sox" Pesednick tonight. He has been pawing at the computer screen as I type. He sees the letters and the cursor moving and keeps jumping up there to attack them. :o) I think he might miss Carly and Uncle Joe. They are his favorite humans. He doesn't like me or Cassidy too much. He scratches us alot. I especially love it when he claws my feet when he is hiding under the bed, or comes into the bedroom early in the morning and scratches me on the face. I don't understand why he does that. I love him and love to pet and love on him! Maybe I smell funny or something. hmmmm

*Yawn*

Good night Bloggers!

PS: Stay tuned for more Gobhole Adventure pictures.........

Chocolate Heaven on a Stick

This is a "Snickers Caramel Apple" it was like Heaven on a stick. It was a Granny Smith apple (the best kind!) covered in caramel, rolled in peanuts and drizzled with chocolate. If you ever see one of these in the mall where you are shopping, run to it! Buy it and dig your teeth into it and be happy God made apples for us to slather with caramel.

Gobhole Underpass

Here is one of the rock formations we encountered at Rock City. Left click on picture if you can't read the sign.

Do you know Susie like I know Susie?

I was so worried about The Gobhole Girl coming to my home. I was afraid that we would pick up this creature at the airport that had a little cloud over her head. I was so pleasantly surprised. What came out of the terminal was a brightly colored gal with a bright smile and a boy in tow.

Here are some tips and observations should The Gobhole Girl ever decide to visit you.

1. she is not a morning person. do not speak until spoken to, usually after a few slurps of coffee.

2. she loves coffee in copious amounts. keep lots on hand. buy a starbux franchise.

3. she needs her lip gloss/stick available to her at all times and applies it frequently.

4. she does spill things often. have papertowels or other absorbant material on hand.

5. her hair is fabulous, don't be jealous.

6. her feet stink. i did not smell them but she told me she could. i just trusted her on this one. (mine however did not as i sprayed them with deo! haha)

7. she is prepared for any toiletry emergency. she has anything and everything you could possibly need or ever want in the way of toiletries. (Granny you will be happy to know we kiped all the samples we could for you!)

8. she eats like a bird. we finally figured out we should share meals and she still only ate half. there must be tons of take out boxes at their house.

9. we noticed a lot of the same things. the only difference was that she said it out loud. we saw several sights and looked at each other and laughed because we knew what we were thinking. (eg: Shoe Hangage....your feet should NOT overhang any where on your sandals. Your sandals should not make any noises while you walk....we were behind a woman whose sandals were blowing air everytime she walked. )

10. we are both note takers. we both have large amounts of notes from the lessons we had. we could probably reinact the lesson for you should that need arise. (please email me for fees)

11. never assume that anything hanging out of your nose, stuck in your teeth, in your hair or on your clothes will go unnoticed. she will notice and she will tell you. that is the sign of a true friend.

12. she is a very passionate person, especially where she sees injustice.

13. we both drive with our hands at 10 & 2. if you don't know what that means then go back to drivers ed. it is the correct way to do it, and that's all there is to it.

14. she has intestnal problems. let's just leave it at that. you want the truth?? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!

15. she can sniff out a bargain in all retail shop

16. she is a great problem solver

17. her list of things she noticed me will exceed this list by far.

18. she only drinks Pepsi. from bottles in cups of ice.


Let me also warn you that the Gobhole Phenomenon is contagious and totally transferrable.
Since we have been together I have tripped on more things than I ever have in my life.
I have managed to hit my body parts on more stationary objects than ever before. This would include a zillion pound rock and walls of all sorts.
I ran into three displays at the grocery store just yesterday.
We ate supper at Fazoli's Saturday night and while she managed to keep herself clean I left with spaghetti sauce all over me! (including my pants!)
We were nearly run off the road. Our short cut road just ended abruptly for no reason.
We received the worst service in every restaurant we went to, including being over charged. (This is a new thing for me as Joe and I usually receive great service!)

Hopefully the effects of this phenomenon will fade as they travel back to Idaho today. I may bump into a few things today in her honor.

Thank you Gobhole Girl (and Dyl) for coming to our home and sharing a week of our life.